How to Survive Supernatural Situations
by Elise the Writing Desk
Summary: You know those frustrating things that happened in any horror, supernatural, thriller stories? That's right, so frustrating. From tripping during a chase to entering doors that clearly say "DANGER". So let's write how to survive them. I mean, seriously? Haven't we learned enough from fictions? AU. Drabble. Episode 1: Typical Haunted Mansion


_Guess what. A drabble :D  
It will be independent chapters, nothing is related unless there's something I need to put into two chapters.  
I got a flu and I am so crazy when I get sick...  
_

_Anyhow, enjoy~ :)_

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**How to Survive Supernatural Situations  
**_April 10__th__ 2015_  
by Elise the Writing Desk, Characters by QuinRose  
*All other familiar references aren't mine

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Episode 1: Typical Haunted Mansion

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This girl over here is Alice Liddell. Yes, the one who is sitting in the passenger seat with her friends? She's a girl who's watched too many movies and read too many books. She's also a smart girl, so she learns from them, unlike idiots who think that fictional things don't apply in real world. Stupid idiots.

And beside her is Boris Airay. He also watches movies, a lot. And he's one of the stupid idiots, since he doesn't learn anything from fictional things.

Today we will see how things will go down if Boris and Alice are faced with a haunted mansion—or a haunted-_looking_ mansion.

"I don't want to get in there. It looks haunted!" example number 1 finely done by Alice Liddell. The mansion is three story with vast dead yard and crows hanging on the dead willows.

Seriously, people should get the hint: pale old painted walls, dead, austere garden…_willows_. Willows in Asia are a big sign of Djinn, Angry Spirits or just mystical beasts (just?). Willows ain't cute. Willows scary. Be scared of it and get the hell away from it.

"Oh come on! It's just how it looks, it's probably boring!" and this is the example of foolishness, expertly taught by Boris Airay—and then again he's not a teen with much common sense.

"Well, Alice, if you don't want to get in, then you can sleep in the car." Said Sidney Black, who doesn't like Alice too much—and is the kind of person who dies in the beginning of a horror story to show the readers that there's an angry spirit or something evil in the mansion.

In this story, for the sake of the plot, there's no way out for Alice. So she asked if she can borrow the car to drive to the convenient store.

This, this is common sense, people.

Moral Lesson Number 1: If you're forced to stay in a haunted-looking mansion, before entering, go to a convenient store to buy spirits-warding ingredients.

In Harry Potter, there's no way of dismissing a ghost blatantly explained either in the book or the movies. Hopefully it's not a poltergeist, since Alice has no idea where to buy the ingredients to make a hex bag—not that she knows how—so Alice decides that she will stick with the Supernatural TV Series and hopefully salt and iron actually does it. For future necessity, she also buys kerosene if she has to burn something. Also, don't forget to borrow a shovel, since you might have to dig a grave.

Alice stops in motion as she exits the convenient store and says to herself: "Ooor…I can just take the care and leave them?"

That would be a terrific idea, unless there's actually no ghost and your friends don't die, and then they'll kill you for taking the car home. Alice is smart, I have to remind you again. So she drives the car to the mansion. Since the willows look suspicious, and most likely to be alive and probably an army of Whomping willows, Alice decides to park the car outside and double locks it for safety reasons.

~.X.~

"AAAAAHHH!"

Crows fly, probably cursing about how loud humans are. That is certainly a sign of painful torture, and at the same time, probably Vivaldi seeing a rat…so she has to go on.

Alice puts on a cross rosary and takes a deep breath before entering the house.

And sees the dead body of Sidney Black being impaled with bamboos that are uprooted from the marble floor. See, I told you that he'd die first.

Of course, this is enough proof for Alice to go home. Yes, she should go home and cuddle her cats. So Alice turns and being the typical thing to happen.

The door swings close!

"HA! NOT SO FAST!" Alice laughs mockingly.

Alice has expected such kind of cheesy turn of events that she had prepared a rock to stop the door from closing!

MARVELOUS MOVE, ALICE!

Unfortunately, the haunted mansion isn't out of ideas. Alice is already half-way outside when the door is slammed completely open and Sidney is there, all bleeding with three big holes that Alice can probably find Waldo through them.

Sidney is possessed!

But that's alright, she can still run. The evil spirit is trying to close the gate! That's okay, she's fast enough, haha!

"ALICE HELP ME!" screams the stupid idiot number two, Pierce Villiers, now running alongside of her.

Alice doesn't stop, she keeps running. Hell she cares, if Pierce can run, then he can just run the f—

Pierce tripped over a willow root! I knew it, those damned willows are evil!

Alice doesn't care, so she keeps running.

"Sorry!"

"DAMN IT PIERCE"

I forget to tell you that Pierce trips over and brings Alice down with him.

Shit. I have to keep typing, aren't I? Don't worry! The hero always wins! Hahaha! No, I am not America.

~.X.~

I totally hate people who trips in a horror or thriller movie. They're the real villains, certainly. But let's just keep going. After getting up and trying to leave the stupid idiot, Alice finally enters the mansion, as she has no other choice.

"Why do I have to hide with this idiot though." Alice mutters to herself as Pierce is also hunched inside the storage room beneath the staircase.

"Sorry."

"Stop it, you're not Canadian." Alice sighs. I am so sorry for her, so much for her preparations. But that's alright! She's also prepared for this kind of situation, but for now, let's let Alice to rub it on Pierce's face. "I told you so! Okay, so what happened to the others?"

"We were checking the vacant rooms, and Sidney said he wants the top floor room, since his grandfather gave him the key for it. After that, Sidney is running and everyone is trying to find out what's wrong, but he keeps running away. Then when he almost exits the mansion, the bamboos suddenly grew out of the floor and impaled him."

"And the others?"

"Freaked out and shocked, they ran off somewhere."

"Idiots." Alice facepalms. "So this mansion is Sidney's family's mansion, huh? Do you have any idea why it's haunted, and moreover, why was Sidney the first person who got killed?"

This is an important thing to know if you are completely trapped in a supernatural situation and the only way out is to defeat the evil spirit. And one of Alice's answers would be because Sidney is just that type to die first, as I've explained in the beginning of the chapter.

"I don't know anything, I'm here for vacation." Pierce mumbles uselessly.

This is exactly the kind of situation where you are forced to explore. Of course, with cautions. Why? Because if they stay too long in there, Sidney will find them and ultimately kills them. Alice gets one fact.

Sidney got killed after entering the top floor's room. So it's most likely that the evil spirit used to reside in there. Or, there's also another possibility; the whole mansion is possessed, like in the movie Monster House. But let's hope for the first one before they have to dig a way out of there. And of course, for the sake of the plot, hahaha.

~.X.~

Since we need some sort of foreshadowing, let's choose Vivaldi. Vivaldi here is someone who should feel neutral about, the strong-looking type that will end up in very pathetic situations. Mostly near-death ones.

After seeing Sidney got impaled with bamboos, Vivaldi runs and tries to clear her mind in her room, the one near the kitchen. It's quite surreal. However, she's fast to recover, so she decides that they have to leave, after burying Sidney's body.

"First, I'll have to get the others." She tells herself and exits her room, looking around warily. The only people that she remembers are still in the mansion are Boris and Pierce. For precautions, she takes an old golf club she finds in the room.

Left or right? People who tend to go left are usually directionally challenged, like me, so Vivaldi turns right. She passes the main hall where Sidney got impaled earlier. However, neither the bamboos nor Sidney are there, except for the cracks on the marble floor and some puddle of blood.

There's no need to investigate that, and who'd like to go near that spot? Vivaldi avoids the possibility of getting impaled, so she continues to explore the second floor. There's a dumb waiter at the end of the corridor, but Vivaldi digress. She checks one of the rooms.

It's a gallery. There's a painting of a Japanese Samurai who looks a lot like Sidney Black.

"Masamura Kenichi, 1649-1705" the writing below the frame explains. Apparently, Sidney's great-grandfather was a Japanese _rurouni_. A Rurouni is a Samurai who doesn't work for anyone unless paid, and mostly wanders around. I am explaining this to shorten the story, nothing more.

Below the painting is the family's tapestry, almost similar to the one in Harry Potter, in Sirius Black's home. It pulls down into a long-long family tree and stops at a woman's name.

"Shizuka Kenichi ,1941"

Her name is explicitly slashed with what seems to be a knife or probably a sword.

Oh this is really important. Vivaldi, being quite the sensible person, takes out her i-phone and takes a picture of that name, and typical supernatural situations, there's no signal, why do you think they haven't called the police yet, duh?

Finding nothing useful, and no sign of anyone in that gallery, Vivaldi exits the room. Then, she hears knocking from the dumbwaiter.

"Vivaldi! Vivaldi!"

"Alice?" Vivaldi quickly approaches the dumb waiter. Yes, you had it coming readers. The typical two-side stories—we know Alice is not there, and yes, I am not trying to give you a suspense or anything, yes, YES, it's a friggin' trap, deal with it.

So Vivaldi opens it, completely ignoring the 'OUT-OF-ORDER' sign on it like every typical worry-wart idiots in this world.

And then there's a hand pulling her in, and Vivaldi falls down with a short scream.

For your information, no she's not dead.

Rather, she's stuck. It's the rock-bottom of the dumb-waiter, but her position doesn't allow her to crawl up.

Then, she feels something sharp is poking her back.

Vivaldi shivers at the stabbing sensation.

Yes, it's some bamboo sprouts. The typical Japanese World-War II punishment. Put a person lying down over some bamboo sprouts, little by little, the bamboos will grow and slowly, painfully impales the defendant.

"Help—"

Vivaldi shuts her mouth upon feeling how the bamboos grow at her voice. Apparently, she's not allowed to make a sound, and the sound of her breathing is making the bamboos grow slowly.

Whacko Asians.

~.X.~

Hearing that scream from the second floor, Alice and Pierce proceeds there only to see the broken dumb-waiter, and Vivadi's i-phone on the floor. Pierce picks it up.

"What's up?"

"Vivaldi took a snap of something…" Pierce says, and shows the picture to Alice. "Who's Shizuka Kenichi?"

"Not a single clue." Alice shakes her head. She looks up and sees the label 'Gallery' on the door in the corridor. However, it's locked. "Maybe we should go to the top floor, since Sidney got killed after it—haha, that sounds stupid."

Pierce looks completely pale. "You are…serious, right?"

Alice laughs nervously. "Either we stay here and get stabbed by Sidney or go up and die. We'll die, so…meh, right?"

Alice is smart, but pessimistic. Damn it, I chose the wrong character again, I should've make America the main character! Well, the show must go on. Reluctant but have to be quick, the two go upstairs where there's only one, grand door.

"Wait," Alice says, and pulls out a pack of salt. She hands it to Pierce. "It wards off spirits, so sprinkle it on yourself. Keep the pack, if the sprinkle is not working and you're about to die, make a circle from it and stay in it. And take this…" Alice looks around and notices the iron candle holder on the wall. She points at it so that Pierce breaks it off the wall. "If you see the spirit, hit it with the candle holder."

"O-Okay. Where did you learn all this?"

"I watch a lot of movies. Let's go."

The room is spacious and if not for the five inch dust, it will be luxurious. There is an altar with the urn in the middle of the room, and a black and white picture of a Japanese man that resembles Sidney a lot. One of his eyes are black, and the other is brighter—they can't figure what color, but it's definitely not black.

"Zetsuno Kenichi"

Since there's no sign of danger for now, they keep looking around. Pierce approaches the book case and finds a black-and-white album. He looks inside it for a while.

"Alice, look! I find Shizuka Kenichi!"

However, that picture has the faces burnt. They keep looking through the pictures and find one slipped beneath.

"This is Shizuka when she's little…" Alice mutters and looks at the date. "It's five years after the world war is over. So far that I get, this Shizuka girl does something that makes her daddy furious and disowns her." Alice concludes. She then glances to the urn. "And for some reason, her daddy's ghost is dead-set on killing Sidney. But what sucks the most is the fact that we can't stop the ghost."

"What!? Why?"

"Because he's Japanese, he's already cremated. We have to find something that we can burn to stop the ghost."

I told you, Alice watches a lot of movies. And again, she's smart, so she realizes something quick. She looks at the photos again.

"Oh man…"

"What?"

"We'll have to burn the house!" Alice points at the picture where there's an empty lot filled with willows. "This whole house is Zetsuno Kenichi's property, which means his soul is all over this—"

Since I'm so cliché, let's make Sidney-zombie enters this moment. Which means salt won't work, which is why Alice and Pierce starts running around like hell until they can exit the room.

"Maybe you shouldn't say that out loud!" Pierce gasps.

"The spirit is possessing Sidney, so we can still outrun him! Let's—"

BAM

"Guys, don't creep me like that!" whines a blood-soaked Boris.

"AAAAHH!"

"I got past that stage! Help me, it won't stop!" the first stupid idiot pleads, and Alice and Pierce just realizes that blood is flowing from Boris's eyes. "WHAT DO I DO!?"

"Let's run for now!" Alice says when they hear Sidney's footsteps. They drag Boris and go downstairs. To add the suspense, let's lock all the doors in the entire floor and have Alice cussing out loud like a friggin' awesome sailor.

"What do we do!? Every room is locked!" cries Pierce in desperation.

"Then we can only get out…" Alice grumbles, and so they runs out of the mansion—and of course they can since Alice does that door-holding trick again with a big rock. They notice the basement door outside is open, and hopefully it won't lead to something worse.

In the basement, it's filled with a lot of bamboo sprouts, and now that they're inside, they wonder if it's a good idea. Alice opens the door—it's not locked, like how the mansion usually tries to lock them in.

"Let's stay away from the bamboo." Warns Alice, and they have to guide Boris, since he's technically blind.

Finding a dusty table, they laid Boris on it and try to stop the blood from flowing by using a bandage around his head—which of course Alice had bought earlier in the store.

"What were you doing before you became like this?" Alice asks.

"I was in my room, and then I was reading a journal in that room."

"Whose journal?"

"Shizuka Black," says Boris, and the other two exchange stares. "She falls in love with one of the Allied prisoner, Duncan Black, and secretly married. When she got pregnant, she was forced to tell who's the father, and then Duncan Black went through the Bamboo Torture. Her father tried to make her abort the child, but she sent it away to her uncle, and then she's forced to watch Duncan Black die a painful and slow death. And then my eyes start bleeding."

"You got cursed." Alice deadpans. "There's probably a talisman on that journal, wasn't it?"

"No, just a paper saying 'CURSED'…"

"Stupid, stupid idiot." Alice facepalms. There's no other way to express it.

"How do you know that?" Pierce asks.

"I played a game like that once." Alice crosses her arms and looks around. "We haven't explored this place at all, right? You two stay here, and no matter what, don't step out of this circle, unless whatever that is can go through the circle and then you must run like the wind." Alice says while circling the table with salt.

"Where are you going?" Boris asks.

"Exploring, and hopefully find Vivaldi."

When they do that, they usually find the missing idiot. Alice leaves her iron shovel for Pierce, and decides she has to find something better as a weapon. It doesn't take long that she finds an old axe in the dusty tool box.

"For some reason, this place isn't cold…" she notes to herself.

The basement is certainly vast, since that's just how ancient people are, I guess. Alice finds a tombstone that has the name 'Duncan Black' on it, and remembers that Shizuka was forced to watch him die. Which means that she's strapped somewhere near to watch, right?

And then Alice finally notices the bamboo roots that are growing up. There are handcuffs stuck inside it, and she guesses that it's the dumbwaiter. So Shizuka was handcuffed in the dumbwaiter to watch Duncan died, make sense. What doesn't make sense are the bamboos—why are the growing there?

Alice uses her axe to chop them off, and then Vivaldi falls down like a miracle.

"You?"

"You saved me!" Vivaldi cries and hugs the girl with teary face. "I thought I was going to die! Oh my god…I heard your voice in the dumbwaiter and when I opened it, someone pulled me in!"

"There's a capslock-written OUT-OF-ORDER, why the hell would I open it!?"

"I was just worried, I wasn't thinking!" Vivaldi lets out a relieved sigh. "When I was inside there, I found this key, though." Vivaldi hands away a big, rusty key.

And then, they hear a scream from afar;

"ALICE…ALICE, HE'S COMING! GET OUT OF THERE!"

~.X.~

Sidney is chasing them down with a friggin' samurai that used to be the decoration in the main hall. Classic chase, they have to run around first before finding a straight path out. Pierce and Boris are already out.

"How do we get out of here…!?" Boris asks, sounds weak, probably due to the major blood loss.

"We need to burn something—probably this entire house, I don't know!" Alice grits her teeth, and then remembers that Vivaldi knows a lot about Sidney's family. "Vivaldi! What do you know about this house?"

"It's Sidney's grandfather's?"

"Okay, how did Sidney got it, then?"

Vivaldi hums. They have ran quite far, but Pierce is still wary so he takes a watch.

"Shizuka and Duncan handed their child to her uncle, right?" Alice tries to help Vivaldi remember. "Who is this uncle? How did he get his hands on this mansion?"

"Oh, I remember!" Vivaldi nods. "Zetsuno Kenichi died from high-blood pressure when he finds out that Shizuka's child is in his brother's hands. His brother then built that basement and buried Duncan, but Zetsuno wrote a will that said how he hates westerners and swears to kill them."

"Okay, so that's why he can't control the basement, since it's not his." Alice grits her teeth, thinking fast.

"This is going to be dangerous, but we have to destroy this mansion." She finally says.

"But how!?"

"I have a plan."

~.X.~

Alice says she will pour kerosene in the basement with Vivaldi. Pierce and Boris sneaks into the mansion once more, and hopefully the last one. First, they have to find the journal that Boris read. There's a key that Vivaldi find, and apparently it's a matching key to Boris's room—or more like, Shizuka's room.

After that, they have to go to the kitchen and turn on the stoves, letting the gas out.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"

"Shit!" Boris slips his own blood.

First of all, he's not Nightmare Gottschalk. Okay, I know that this is totally breaking the fourth-wall—kind of—but they should have realized that Alice asked them to do this mission because he thinks Boris will die anyway.

But Pierce is the kind of character who's a wimp but can be a man in the brink of death.

No, he's just that character who trips in horror movies and kills everyone.

"WHOOPS—"

Except that this time it's not his fault that Boris's blood is on the floor, and this time he brings Sidney-zombie down.

"Sorry, Sidney—I mean, LET'S GO BORIS!" Pierce frantically stands up and drags Boris out.

Alice is trying to get the matchsticks on, and is shocked to see Boris and Pierce out.

"Whoah, you guys made it?"

"Don't make it sound as if you didn't expect it!" Pierce whines, and slams the door close. "We've opened the gas! Hurry and burn it! AAH!"

Sidney just stabbed through the door, trying to bang it open and slash it, luckily the samurai is too blunt since it's meant for decoration. Boris and Pierce give all their strength to keep the door closed as Alice struggles with the matchsticks due from pressure.

"HURRY UP, ALICE!"

"I can't help it, I keep breaking all of them—"

"GIVE ME THAT!" Vivaldi snatches it and scratch all matchsticks on fire before throwing it into the basement that's been soaked with trails of kerosene. "We gotta get away!" she says.

"But Sidney!?"

Alice grabs the shovel and uses it to hold the door close, and they ran as far as they can, tripping pathetically over willow roots—while the fire is trailing the kerosene and finally finds the dumbwaiter that leads into the gas-filled mansion.

And…BOOM!

The four of them watch the house explodes and burns in mixed feelings.

"We destroyed a friggin' house." Vivaldi sobs a little. "This is the most wonderful thing I've ever done!"

Pierce narrows his eyes. "Doesn't that kind of make us a group of terrorists…?"

Boris wipes his eyes and after what feels like forever, his eyes stops drenching with blood. "It's stopped! The curse is over!" he smiles in relief. Alice had told him that he had to burn the journal to stop the curse, and it worked.

The three then turn to Alice in wonder. "Alice, did you seriously learn all that from movies?" asks Boris.

Alice just had to take all the credit, with the explosion background, she smirked and pulls a Jensen Ackles Smirk.

"Saving people, hunting things…" she smirks. "The family business."

Juust kidding, she totally quoted that from Supernatural, don't get false hopes now.

Well, that's just one story of how to survive a haunted mansion!

That's all, folks!


End file.
